Thursday follow-up and rule 4

Well... as is important in the field I work in... you get a much needed lesson in humility from time to time. My interview with Maia Sharp seemed pretty cool. She was fun and the story about the oboe sounded like pay dirt, like a little anecdote she didn't often repeat, like I was getting a real treat --except, I wasn't. The Daily Mail ran pretty much the same bit with maybe a slightly variant on the focus and if they got it and I got it, everybody gets it. Ta-da! It's fucking magic.

So, rule 4 -You're always getting leftovers. 9 times out of 10, you're going to find yourself asking the same questions others have always asked a dozen or a hundred times. This means you will often get the same answers, the same stories that have been repeated a hundred times. While repetition, to a degree, is expected, even necessary, the goal of music writing is to try and bring something new or new to the reader out. It doesn't have to be world changing, but it should stimulate a little. Old material, parroted too often, tends to gloss over.

I liked my article, but I kind of failed...

In retrospect, there was one question I should have asked but didn't. This would be the question: Has sexual politics been a help or hindrance with getting your music across to musicians? Basically, how hard is it for a talented lesbian to get a song covered by the Dixie Chicks or Trisha Yearwood? I think I could have gotten a better bead on Country music's brain, which may not match the image they project.

I'll scratch that one up to be completely charmed by her oboe story and the Darth Vader t-shirt, which I do covet. My own damned fault. Sometimes, I suck.

Still, even if I had gone that route, chances are it's already been covered and many times. Probably, the Advocate article(s) on her have wailed on the subject, but the average Gazz reader likely hasn't picked up a copy of the Advocate in a while.

Meanwhile... Marcia Ball. Well, she was a sweetheart and warm on the phone. I just wished I liked her album, but I don't. I even sent notes to friends who might be able to explain to me what I wasn't getting. As it happened, they were just as puzzled as I was about anyone being excited about her music.

I don't know. She might be hell on wheels live, which is what I'm betting. Otherwise, the folks at Mountain Stage wouldn't keep inviting her back.

Thursday follow-up on Friday

I had a couple of stories this week in the Gazz. Sorry, I've been slacking more with blogging in general due to the work load. I. Am. A. Slave.

Anyway,

John Legend/India.Arie --Really, a hell of a show. The music was swell, but the spectacle and the energy level were off the charts. I've seldom seen a crowd that into a concert and was pleasantly surprised that India.Arie was as good as she was. I also expected more political stuff out of her than she gave, but she was charming. Legend was as good as his hype and really the whole show felt about three or five times the size it was. In a place like the Clay Center, it makes you feel like you're really in the thick of things, even if you're up in the nosebleed seats -which is where I was.

Suburban Graffiti -A local band. I don't do enough local stuff and I'm aware of it. I was impressed with their musical direction and the shape of what they're trying to do. Naturally, they're not going to stick with it. All of them are pretty bright, are going to decent schools and will figure out a career in music is nearly as rewarding as a career in writing. Still, I liked what I heard and they had a nice naivete about them.

Gary Puckett- Hmm... well, can't say this was a great one. He was amiable and I knew his music, but I was never much of a fan. Lady Willpower and Young girl were played a hell of a lot on the oldies station I had to listen to at the pizza parlor where I worked when I was about 20. I got sick of it, but the interview came off okay. Just nothing new revealed to me other than Prince Charles was a bigger goober than I thought.

James Price -modestly bitter about the falling out with Ralph Stanley, who, by several reports, is kind of an asshole. He had a nice origin story, but I'd have given five bucks if he'd said something like, "that motherfucker Stanley fired my ass."

Thursday follow-up

All of this stuff refers to this morning's Gazz section and my contributions.

John Legend - Not much to add. He wasn't particularly engaged and not exceptionally talkative. He wasn't evasive, just didn't have much to say until we got onto the subject of his charity, then he lifted off.

Ben Kweller -A genuinely funny guy and possibly stoned when I spoke to him. It was hard to tell with the easy going Texas drawl and the way he spun out his stories. The main thing I wanted to know was how he convinced his parents going to Europe with Faith No More was a good idea. The general idea was he was like a frog in a pot of water. The temperature built up and nobody noticed the water was boiling before it was too late.

Dave Alvin -He was a last minute addition. I didn't plan on talking to him, didn't really know who he was and staggered into the interview under prepared. However, we still managed to find some decent common ground and I was able to stay away from the things I did know about him that weren't particularly important: Alvin was one of the founders of The Blasters, a punk rockabilly band from the the early 80s, sort of a forerunner to a lot of things I got into like Mojo Nixon and the Reverend Horton Heat. The Blasters were also in the movie Streets of Fire, which is mostly crap, but has a couple of cool songs on the soundtrack.

Anyway, none of that really meant much in the context of his new band. So, we didn't talk about it and still had a pretty good time.

Bobcat Goldthwait -I love this guy. Who I think is cool is very different than who other people think is cool. I've thought Bobcat was funny for as long as I can remember (The Twisted Sister Videos, even Police Academy). We had a good conversation (in a normal, even tone), but I got him to laugh. He joked with him about getting a job directing the next Harry Potter film or possible product tie-ins for one of his movies. I have really bad ideas for a 7-11 slurpie cup for "Sleeping Dogs Lie" and a happy meal for "World's Greatest Dad."

It was fun.

All Good 2

I'm still working on how to phrase the story, but it boils down to this: the music is great. It's a fantastic venue for music. The sound is good and having the two stages side by side makes for quick transitions between major and minor acts. It flows marvelously with very little waiting around. The staff is mostly helpful and the vendors aren't completely trying to fuck you over. The prices were inflated, but probably less than the state fair. I even liked the food.

The festival is an experience. I recommend it.

Highlights of my one day visit:

Todd Snider is amazing live. It's crazy how much better he sounds live than on the album.
Les Claypool is probably nuts, though his new album based on a mostly failed video game he wrote the soundtrack to sounds like it might be fun.
Galactic was OK.
I would have liked to have seen all of Bob Weir's set, but what I saw was pretty good.

Single, but important warning.
Don't bring your kids. Sure, sure, the website makes a deal about family camping and activities for the kids, but that clashes with the central purpose of All Good, which is to get stoned and listen to hippie music.

All Good

Well, off to All Good this weekend.

I haven't been to a big ass music festival in years. The last one was the very weird, traumatic, but life changing Woodstock 99. I went alone, was miserable and sun burnt most of the time. I spent way too much money and ultimately ran for the hills when the cops showed up to quell a riot.

I still saw some amazing performances including (in no particular order): The Offspring, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Fatboy Slim, Korn and Creed (yes, Creed did not suck live). I watched Trainspotting in a converted air force hanger while I was a bit under the influence, saw naked people until I was sick of looking at human skin. I played an overturned trash can with an iron pipe and along with others made savage music. I went to a rave.

It was a strange kind of communion and seriously, it changed my life. Choosing to go and to go alone was a big deal at the time. Afterwards, I wasn't so afraid to go it alone, to do things without committee approval. I found out I could get by just fine among a quarter million strangers and remain a stranger if I wanted to. I could work out the details as I went along. I wasn't a child. I wasn't an adult. I was just me and I was okay with that.

That was really the point when I became comfortable in my own skin again, after a long time of not being comfortable at all.

I don't think it will ever happen again, but this weekend, I'm off to All Good. It's smaller, not as loud or as plain crazy as Woodstock was, and I'm bringing company with me. I don't know if there are any lessons to gather. I don't know if I'll learn anything or if my partner-in-crime will get anything out of it other than some music. Still, just music isn't a bad thing.

Thursday morning notes

Some thoughts on the stories I wrote for this week.

Artimus Pyle- About him being a child molester... I don't know. Maybe/maybe not, but he does seem to make the noises appropriate for a guy who pissed off his girlfriend and got pinched by the system.

Pyle plead to a lesser charge, rather than face the possibility of a high profile trial, which likely would have ruined him regardless of outcome. Not just that, if he'd lost, he'd have faced the possibility of going to jail for the rest of his natural life. Quite possibly, he was advised to do that to just make it go away. It may have made sense at the time. He was given eight years of probation, but no jail time.

Laws about sex crimes have evolved, become more punitive (particularly in Florida) and 16 years ago, the internet was still mostly a toy. Information, particularly the bad kind, wasn't nearly as free lowing as it is now. 16 years ago, it might have only been a problem if he got arrested for something. Now, it dogs him like a shadow.

I have no idea whether he was guilty, only that he plead it out, but I could see why he might have under the circumstances. If he's innocent, I hope he does clear his name. If he's not, I guess I'm a little perplexed as to why the state of Florida offered him a plea deal in the first place.

Anyway, what he thinks about Skynyrd, he's might be right. They're a band stuck in amber, caught on the day before they plane crash.

Todd Snider -A genuine pleasure to talk to this guy. We joked about both of us not being sure whether we'd spoken before. As well as having a pretty generic face, I also have the quintessential generic radio voice. I sound familiar to everybody, but I couldn't remember if we'd actually spoken. Sometimes it all runs together.

Anyway, he was fun and probably not stoned when I spoke to him. He had a lot of nice things to say about Mountain Stage. I genuinely like the folks on Mountain Stage, but occasionally piss one or more of them off with these things I write. They're very protective of what they do and the people involved which is hard for some people to understand. I get it. So, does Snider.

"Mountain Stage is more than a show," he said. "The best part is backstage. Andy (Ridenour) has built a family back there. When you go play the show, you get to be part of that."

It really is like that.

Maya Nye -Really genuine. I liked what she had to say and hope she gets over her fear of debuting her own stuff.

I want to do more local musicians and people, but the trick is figuring out angles. Her article was a straight-up profile, which is fine, but one of those a week and people would be so damned sick of them.

I wish Freaktent would give lessons on marketing to other bands. Say what you want about their music, Scott Bailey is very good at coming up with things for me to write about.

Multifest...

Since there is no Regatta in Charleston this year, why not go to Multifest?

Ok, so far, there's not a lot to see.

On the upside, at least the food is decent --even if there's not much else going on. I have no idea who The Whispers are. Never heard of them, which isn't all that surprising. I grew up listening to redneck classic country, redneck classic rock and heavy metal then moved into punk, stoner rock and alt. country after a brief flirtation with bubblegum pop in the mid 1980s (I was hoping to get laid).

I'm sure I'll get a strongly worded e-mail about all their fine accomplishments and contributions to music. They were probably giants about thirty or forty years ago. I am and will always be a philistine.

The only little problem I have with Multifest is that as white bread as Regatta often was (and it was), Multifest is primarily an African-American event with a half-hearted nod to a few other communities. Credit where credit is due: a couple of years it looked like they reached out a bit (belly dancers, a booth for an Islamic center handing out copies of the Koran, somebody selling some vaguely Asian food), but the major entertainment is usually soul, R&B and some flavor of Hip Hop --which is fine. I'd love it if they'd bring in Public Enemy, but so would a lot of middle-aged white guys who still listen to Rage Against The Machine and get nostalgic for smart, aggressive and political rap.

Fat chance on that one, whitey, if their budget affords The Whispers as their headliner (by now, I've read their bio, their wikipedia page, and will venture, regardless of their many fine hits, I still have never heard of them).

Still, a little more diversity on the stage would be nice. I won't be going for the music. I'll get some fried fish or maybe some ribs. If I luck out, they'll have a reggae band plunking away on a Saturday afternoon.

That's not terrible and given the long haul to next year's FestivALL, you have to soak up whatever passes for a party in Charleston.

Pretentious suggestions

First off, FestivALL works. It doesn't work completely, but it does work. The art and theater portions seem to be developing nicely. Mountain Stage is fine and what the hell, I like the idea of the Lighthouse Coffee house lawn shows. Other parts work, not so much --like the catfish thing, which seems like a disembodied theme that scarcely made sense to begin with and has since run its course. However, I'm going to limit my criticism. I have not come to bury FestivALL.

So, with the outright admission that I don't hate FestivALL (but with the understanding, I don't absolutely love it either), here are a few of my humble suggestions for improvements and additions.

Kill the mayor's concert. It's a loser unless he puts the money out for an artist with huge name recognition (Gladys Knight worked because she's consistently maintained a media presence even since her big hit days. The O'Jays didn't -despite the Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame. Booker T? He's an influential part of pop/rock history, but he's slipped into the obscure --a sad fate, but it happens artists great and small, sometimes whether they try to stay current or not.

My thought is if the mayor wants to throw a show that's all about the music he likes, he should have it on his lawn, invite people to bring chairs, sell concessions for Covenant House and brand it as his gift to the city during FestivALL. If he wants to make money or break even, he should probably stick with an act whose last hit wasn't 35 years ago. It reflects well on him and the city if it succeeds, but it makes the city, the festival and his mayorness look sad (possibly cheap) and out of touch when it fails to excite the public.

Give the future a chance. Add a pay venue for an indie show. Adam Harris and Chris Morris, members of the Steering Committee and associated with Mountain Stage, should be able to come up with a show that the 20-40 somethings (and the 50 something aging hipsters) would gladly pay to watch. Hell, promise them that Larry Groce will listen to their CDs in their entirety and maybe they'd get them at a discount on the hopes it could lead to a Mountain Stage gig.

(That said, I thought Rasta Rafiki was a nice touch for a show at the levee.)

Stop tacking on filler. Dora the Explorer and a regular acoustic gig at Taylor Books downtown should not be considered part of FestivALL. I have nothing against whoever is strumming their guitar at Taylor's on a Friday night, but this is a regular event and isn't special. Dora the Explorer is just plain bullshit. It has nothing to do with the theme and having it tacked on looks like a sad sack attempt to make it seem like the Charleston Civic Center is remotely involved.

Also... And this is in response to some grumbling I've heard, but maybe the city could go outside of the musician's union for some of the local bands appearing. In fact, it might be a good idea if the musician's union sponsored a stage made up on non-union players as part of an outreach. I like the Voo Doo Katz and Bob Thompson just fine, but they are only part of the scene and not really representative of what's mostly being played in Charleston. Why aren't Threefold Theory, Freaktent, Voices of Anatole or one of the dreary scare metal bands playing one of the local stages? Embrace that loud, obnoxious shit, encourage it. Maybe have an "After dark Satan's stage." Hit the Tattoo shops up for sponsorship.

While we're at it, an all ages rock/pop show wouldn't hurt. Incorporate the teenage wasteland. There's music if you're 10, but not much if you're 15.

Consider funding a few buskers on street corners during the work week of FestivALL --just to keep people thinking about festivall during the week. Have them do it during the lunch hours and also at the end of the work day. Maybe plant someone to hand out leaflets about FestivALL activities.

Also, get local radio involved. It would seem like a no brainer for one of them to pull in a show or do a stunt and sell sponsorships to make it happen (and turn a profit). Appeal to their civic pride and when that fails: greed. Radio is worthless on a great many things (selling real estate, for example), but they can be hell on wheels when it comes to whipping people into a frenzy over a concert or festival. I don't see any radio people on the steering committee or the marketing committee. They ought to be.

And quite frankly, my top picks to get people out to FestivALL would be Electric 102 and Rock 105. Electric 102 has the broadest appeal. Rock 105 has the balls to do nutjob promotions that attract attention. The Valentine's Day divorce giveaway was morally reprehensible, but brilliant and received worldwide attention.

Free parking on the weekends (This is like asking for a pony from Santa Claus when you're 30). Open up the city and civic center lots on the weekends. Ask the private ones to do the same. It's a minor thing. People shouldn't bitch about three or four bucks to leave their car someplace, but they do. "Free parking" on advertising is short hand for, "Relax. Just come have fun."

Since most of the downtown restaurants won't stay open during the weekend, open up for food vendors. Try to recruit outside the usual corndog hustlers: Get the guy who sells ostrich burgers or the people offering mystery meat on a stick. This way they're not really competing with the few who do stick it out and locals, who are willing to spend money on food, get something they don't normally get. Hell, Virgil at Delish could make money hand over fist if he sold his chicken satays during FestivALL.

Festivall also needs a signature food item. It doesn't have one.

Get a film festival. Run locally produced films and shorts, along with Q&A sessions. It will give Danny Boyd something to do (and probably his students during the school year) and be a place to go during the week between the weekend main events. Or maybe for the hell of it... run Warhol's 24 hour movie. Do a contest with prizes to see who can sit through the damned thing. Turn it into a spectacle, like a Japanese gameshow where the contestants are tortured slowly and in bizarre ways.

Get a finale. There ought to be one big show on the last day, but there isn't. You could say it's Wine and All that Jazz and Terence Blanchard, but really? That's the finale for the whole week? I don't think so. FestivALL starts off with a roar -with Buddy Guy- then piddles off at the end on Sunday with the second day of a street fair. The easy answer would be Mountain Stage, but since what they get fluctuates based on how they book, it would be better just to bring in another for pay show.

Booking something at the Civic Center makes the most sense. Unless the city wants to do a free, outdoor show --which they probably don't-- the Civic Center is the biggest venue. I'm still curious as to why their participation in FestivALL appears to be only token.

So, these are my thoughts... Some of them I've been saying for years --even to a few people associated with FestivALL. I recognize it's easy to armchair quarterback. The reality of the situation is always different than the perception. That's fine. I'm just pointing out what I think could be better.

FestivALL

I haven't been blogging about FestivALL because I haven't participated much. I've been out and about, but I'm waiting to see what happens more than getting into it.

First the good news. Buddy Guy on Mountain Stage killed. Susan Johnston's "How Sissy Grew" appears to have been well-received, too.

But this weekend looms like all kinds of misery. According to the Clay Center's website, there are approximately 580 tickets still available for the Mayor's concert on Thursday. The Billy Jonas concert for the Woody Hawley show on Saturday, up until late last week, had sold only a handful of tickets. Blues, Brews and BBQ and Wine and All That Jazz will probably do OK (they did before FestivALL), but neither has generated a lot of excitement.

You can blame promotion, but this year's FestivALL has been the slickest, most interesting visually so far. I'd argue they should have been feeding information earlier than they did, but when they started was adequate. However, whether FestivALL succeeds of fails, it comes down not to the leaflets and the posters, but the strength of the entertainment to draw a crowd.

On the upside, there are still plenty of tickets available and during the mayor's show right now, there's enough space in the theater to play a game of touch football without having to worry about obstructing the view of the stage.

Still No.

Got a note from Conor Oberst's agent. I contacted him about the same time I hit the publicist. Some publicists are little more than secretaries and mostly just do whatever the artist tells them. Others wield the power cosmic and control some of the artist's time. It all depends on the artist and the agency.

Anyway, he replied to my earlier query and said he was sending it along to the p.r. people, though he didn't know if Conor was doing interviews. This could, again, be the set-up to offer me the banjo picker, the bass player or the castanet player.

So, I sent a note back saying I'd been in contact with somebody from publicity last week. They made a "kind" offer on a substitute, but I declined since it didn't fit in with what we were doing. Again, they can kiss my ass. Mr. Oberst is a singer/songwriter. He ought to be doing his own publicity and not farming it out to the hired help.

I like his songs, but I have little sympathy for his career.

The Rules: Rule 3

Everybody knows better than you.

This is one of my favorite. No matter how good you eventually get writing about entertainment there is someone who knows a little more. Actually, everybody knows a little more. The people in the industry, half the time, want to rewrite your work. You missed something. People, they swear, want to hear more about the album or the tour or how the bass player is donating his urine to save the seals or some stupid shit like that.

The average fan will go through a 400 word article and if they think about it, will want to know why you didn't ask about something, like, what about that heroin habit or those needling rumors they're sleeping with their cousin or half a million other things that probably don't mean much and only the clinically insane would answer. People still want to know and presume that because you're talking to someone, they're going to tell you whatever you know.

This, by the way, is never ever the case. Some people sound more open, but only crazy people and bloggers tell you everything about who they are.

What you should remember is, despite whatever homework you do, the fans always know more, but the thing is, they like to hear what they already know repeated or rephrased. They're not looking for information. They're often just looking for confirmation of their special knowledge.

Anyway, there's a lot of people out there who would do it differently and do it better --perhaps, with a nicer photo.

There is no beating this. So, you just shrug, take the criticism, use it if you can, and discard it if you can't.

You walk away, I walk away

Word from the publicist of Conor Oberst:

I'm happy to set up an interview with one of Conor's bandmates. If you'd
like to move forward with an interview, by when did you need it scheduled
and do you need any press materials?

My response:

No.

Tough break. Just another carpetbagger rolling through. Ah well, I still love his work, particularly the one song, but he can kiss my ass.

A little baffling

Conor Oberst is playing 1-2-3 Pleasant Street in Morgantown next month. I have no idea why he's there, but I am far more excited about the prospect of driving two hours to catch whatever his current project is than just about anything blowing through Charleston in the next month.

I saw this guy in 2004 when the band was Bright Eyes. He was the opener for Bruce Springsteen, REM and John Fogarty. He strolled with giants and none were better. Of course, he was also stoned out of his ever-loving mind and just about trashed the stage with the spitting. He spat on everything.

Tickets are only $20.

Breaks my heart...

Looks like Miley Cyrus won't be coming this way for her new tour. Tough break kids. On the upside, there will be some people dressed up like Dora the Explorer in a couple of weeks. That's almost as good, right?

The civic center makes me weep. I heard ages ago Tri-State Gaming was going to build an amphitheater, but I haven't heard anything about it in probably a year. If they're going to do it, I wish they'd go ahead and build. Pretty obviously the civic center doesn't really want to book concerts. They'd rather stick to trade shows and high school reunions, which I'm sure are both profitable and easy to coordinate, but duller than shit for anybody who isn't in the replacement dental appliance field or the laminated wood products industry.

I think I need to check on that.

Something you don't see every day

A rock star writes an article about the little town where he played his show. Makes me wish I could have worked in a story about the dude.

Check it out.

July and a few tidbits

Just a cool thing. Ben Kweller is playing Mountain Stage July 26. I'm a little guarded. By most reports, the last two "big" headliners have been problematic. Patterson Hood from the Drive By Truckers was sick and the set was fine. It just wasn't the southern-fried rockin' thing everybody wanted. Neko Case approached the live radio show like it was a studio session.

It would be great if this one turned out.

Side notes.
1-Keith Urban was nice, but guarded. It felt like he was waiting for a question to be asked.

2-Leon Redbone was weird. I expected a fun, funny guy, but instead I got a mildly suspicious, slightly combative dude who'd be okay if none of us knew each other's first names. It was a little disappointing. You expect someone who seems to do playful material to be playful, but oddly, it's just as often it's the scary stuff people who are the most fun. Mercedes Lander from Kittie was bubbly and charming. Jerry Only from The Misfits was very easy going and Spider One from Powerman 5000 was great. Redbone just seemed... I dunno... against type.

The hope is I just caught him on a bad day.

It must be said

Those interviews I tend to plan extensively for and hope will turn out spectacular tend to blow up. About half the time, they're real stinkers. The interviewed acts like they're being grilled by the IRS about the money they gave their gay Canadian mistress.

On those interviews where I walk blindly into a wall of fog, unprepared and sweating out my incompetence, it's funny how it leads, only by accident, into interesting places. I get tiny bits of truth.

If I could be sure I'd get to go interesting places every time, I'd never bother with the homework.

The Rules: rule 2

Another music writer rule --by the way, these aren't really in any particular order.

Rule 2: Remember who you work for.

You work for your reader. In the end, that's who buys the papers, that's who buys the products your advertiser's sell, etc... etc... You work for the audience; the same as a singer, an actor or a stripper. The difference, naturally, is the previous occupations require more talent for any degree of success and pay better for the size of audience.

Music and entertainment writing isn't high-minded stuff really. It branches into it sometimes and sometimes, some entertainment writers can attain the profound or the poetic riffing off an album, a song, a performance, an experience, but usually not. Mostly, entertainment writing is about diverting people's attention, providing them with something pleasant to think about, and giving the reader options on their weekend. At it's worst, it becomes gossip. At it's best, it's human interest --it's about people and maybe a look at some aspect of people we either share or wish we could share.

Often, a story will encourage other things --like commerce. Entertainment features put people in movie houses, get them to buy records (sometimes) and push them in the direction of a show. This is a side effect --kind of like how certain heart medicines also give you nuclear-powered boners. While the side effect is not without its benefits (and is certainly more lucrative), it's not what you're here to do.

Occasionally, others will confuse the side effect with the intended effect. They will want you to confuse it, too, and for all kinds of reasons that sound good on the surface. Just remember what's good for the performer or the show is not necessarily good for the reader --or the newspaper or the magazine.

Also... and just as importantly... what is good for the writer is not necessarily what's good for the reader. I'd be lying if I didn't say I occasionally wanted to do stories that are only for me. Sometimes, it's wanting to help someone who really needs it. Other times, it's wanting to get a piece of knowledge that's hard to get at. Validation is another thing: some sort of proof of self-worth as seen reflected through the job. It's kind of a sickness, given the kind of things I write about. Really, are there ten people in this state who are bothered that Bruce Springsteen hasn't played in West Virginia in over 30 years?

Periodically, I pitch things at my editors of dubious value and they have to remind me: who does this benefit? If the answer is "me," then we don't do it.

Remember your reader.

DBT at the Clay Center

In case you missed the announcement, the Clay Center has published their new schedule. Among the highlights, the Drive By Truckers are coming back in November. The band recently played Mountain Stage, but Patterson Hood was pretty much the walking dead and the show was very downbeat for what was expected. More than a few people were disappointed.

Anyway, I was digging through my old files and found a rough draft on a Drive By Trucker article I wrote a couple of years ago. Three years back, I did an insane number of All Good festival articles. There was just so many choices, I was kind of like a kid in a candy store and really lost track of who I scheduled. So, Patterson Hood just calls up one afternoon. We had an appointment. I hadn't written it down. I wasn't prepared, didn't have my notes and so we winged it. The results were a bit --eh, but that happens when you're unprepared, haven't listened to the album and only vaguely know who they are.

Three years ago, I didn't know who a lot of people are. This is the kind of job where you're always going to be at least a little behind.

Anyway, most of the good stuff, I had to leave out of the article, including the part about him toking his first joint here in Charleston -which was funny and should be printed on state tourism flyers. "West Virginia: a place to smoke pot." He might have even seen his first pair of live, naked breasts here, but my memory is a little faulty on the subject. Someone told me this was the town where their first concert here was also the place where they saw their first set of beer-drenched tits.

This should also be printed on tourism flyers.

Anyway, Hood and company are headed back for a show that will hopefully redeem their lesser loved recent performance... what would be funny is if Niko Case was the opening act, but I'm not holding my breath.

Vandalia

I'm not a huge fan of traditional music. I prefer it in small doses. A couple of bluegrass tunes in an afternoon or a single 18th century Scottish ballad and most of the time I'm good. No more needed for a month or so. I have the same feeling for Death Metal, though alcohol can sometimes deaden the pain of extended exposure.

Others go nuts for the stuff and they are welcome to.

Still, whether I'm a fan of old time music or not, Vandalia Gathering is one of my favorite festivals in the state --which isn't difficult, given my ongoing lack of enthusiasm about many of the others. Vandalia has a solid core, which is the traditional music, and the other stuff (arts, culture and food) sort of builds up around it. They've got their one thing down. That's what they do. Everything else is sort of secondary. This, they say, is why the Sternwheel Regatta worked in the old days, because it was really about the damned boats and the debauchery on the river. The music, the booze and the food on the boulevard sprang up around it. When they lost the sternwheelers, the party was over. The festival went into an endless tailspin of suck.

That's what they say... I liked a couple of the shows during Regatta years back, but really, I always thought what killed the thing was turning it from a half-assed mardis gras into a citywide birthday party for an eight year-old nobody likes.

Anyway, my feeling is Vandalia lasts as long as the state continues to pay for it and as long as the festival stays away from trying to be all things to all people. Inclusion is over-rated. The second they open up their new rock stage (for the kids) with special appearance by "Bon Scottscock" that'll be the end.

What I like about Vandalia is I don't have to try very hard to get it. It is what it is. While the music may not be my particular brand, it's usually decent and there's a lot of enthusiasm among the players and the fans. It's a good time and nobody tries to pawn anything off about it as something it's not --at least, it seems pretty much on the up and up.

Anyway, if you haven't made the trip up for Vandalia, you should --and what the hell, get some ramps and maybe a square of cornbread. You might as well soak it up. Go whole hillbilly for a day.

Taking the hit

Well... I stuck by my guns: no e-mail interviews with ventriloquists. I asked. They declined. They offered, I giggled and wrote back saying I wished him the best of luck. Meanwhile, without the sound, I scoffed at the idea that a touring ventriloquist saving his voice by not doing the occasional phone interview with the local paper. I piss on the very notion. Chances are when he calls room service at the motel, he doesn't send an e-mail down to the kitchen for his grilled cheese and caviar sandwich. When he hails a cab, he doesn't send smoke signals. He is not going to use ASL to communicate with the crew backstage. It is a bullshit excuse.

Bottom line... what he does is a vocal performance that is very much in line with what an a Capella singer would do, what a stand-up comedian or an impressionist might do. I'd argue he's not doing anything more vocally challenging than what the lead singer of Kitty does when she switches abruptly from a sweet melodic schoolgirl voice to the throat crushing devil voice.

Yeah... I don't think he's so much saving his voice as saving his ass. A lot of comedians just aren't funny when they're not on stage. I appreciate not wanting to look bad. If you suck at interviews, you should practice.

Of course, I don't know the competition will do. I'm actually curious to see.

Charlie West Blues

The Charlie West Blues Festival is coming up next weekend. Twenty bucks (fifteen, if you join the Blues Society) nets you eight acts, including some people who have been up for awards. It's not necessarily a family-friendly-end-all-be-all of a a kind of festival. One of the more interesting acts on the card is a harmonica player named Jason Ricci.

Jason is a very, very troubled boy... He's had run-ins with the law, but doesn't look like a traditional blues player. He doesn't flinch when talking about his drug use or the fact that he doesn't fuck chicks (consider how many gay blues musicians you can think of), but man... he's got one spooky album out. His latest, "Done With The Devil" is creepy, heartfelt and just plain weird. It's what might have happened if Marilyn Manson had studied under Sonny Boy. Oh, it's dark.

He's also up for a Blues Music Award. Hell, he hasn't got a chance in hell, but it would still be cool if he won.

Anyway, the Charlie West Blues Festival next weekend. It's a pretty good ticket.

Ouch

I was talking to someone the other day about shows coming through. They were a lot more positive and interested in what was coming through than I was --which isn't hard. I'm hopeful people, but I'm not seeing anything to get really excited about. Anyway, in situations like that, I ask what they like, what's coming down the pipe they really want to see. I listen to what other people are listening to. It's one of the best ways to grow.

It turns out they were pretty excited about Booker T and The MGs coming to play at FestivALL. He saw Booker T by himself a couple of years ago at WVSU.

I thought he had to be mistaken, so I looked it up in the archives.

Yup, it happened. September 29, 2006. Tickets were $10.

He told me it was a good show --for the twenty or so people who came.

Tickets for the show at the Clay Center range from $21.50 to $41.50 --plus you figure a $2.50 service charge and another $4 for parking.

Parking would not have been a problem at the WVSU show.

Of course, the show at the Clay Center has the MGs, plus Eddie Floyd. Booker T has a new album out, which was recorded with Neil Young and The Drive By Truckers --not the MGs. Neither Neil Young or The Drive By Truckers are expected to be at the show, though he is taking the DBTs with him to Bonnaroo and other places.

Just a thought, but I'm not so sure the MGs would be playing the stuff from Booker T's new album --which is probably fine with the people who are into hardcore nostalgia -the "just gimme the hits people."

Jeez, it seems like I have it in for the guy, but really, I don't. Others are looking forward to the show. They're bigger, probably smarter music fans than me. I'm glad they're getting something they want. Somebody should.

Funny

One of the funniest things about the music/entertainment writing gig is almost nobody understands the title. This is why I came up with the descriptive phrase, "I talk to a lot of burned out bass players and former celebrities." It helps, but most of the time people sort of forget and everything else I say is rendered as gibberish.

"Did you hear there's a new Jesco White movie?"

"Sure, I talked to the director and to one of the locals involved with the production," I say. "I got death threats from The Whites. Funny stuff. I saw the trailer, but it's not what the director told me it was going to be, you know?"

"So, like there's this really weird trailer," she says. "It's on Jackass's website."

"Right," I say. "Johnny Knoxville is producing it."

Ignoring the words coming out of my mouth, she says, "You ought to check it out. Maybe there's a story there."

I nod.

"You ever seen Mountain Stage?" she asks. "It's awesome."

Local music updates

So far, it's still a virtual wasteland this summer. No real sparkle. Nothing to get excited about.

The only new name popping up is John Legend for a Wednesday show in July. No venue confirmed, but it won't be Multifest and it's unlikely to be Mountain Stage.

FestivALL is still exactly what is was --though the civic center has a convention for the Jehovah Witnesses (a return engagement) and Dora The Explorer (that screams art and culture). Jeez, makes you wonder if the civic center has it in for the city's arts and music festival. A big (er... medium) name, mainstream (or attractive alt act) show would do wonders for the thing. Surely, someone has thought of this.

Of course, maybe music is a lot harder sell in this area than I thought, not that anyone appears to be trying very hard to draw a crowd. For example, Huntington has Molly Hatchet coming to Riverfront Park in August. You might be thinking, "Holy shit. I thought those fuckers were dead." Yeah, that's what I thought, too. Apparently, not dead enough.

I guess Black Oak Arkansas was booked.

Ah well... maybe you should go ahead and get those Booker T and the MGs tickets. If you're going to spend your money, you might as well give it to them. Nothing else is going on.

The Rules: rule 1

(These have been transported from the old blog and touched up for the new blog)
I'm a music writer --not a big time music writer, not a great music writer, but I write about music. I interview musicians, occasionally comedians and very rarely actors. Technically, this would mean I'm an entertainment writer, but I don't feel like one. That smacks more of celebrity journalism and I'm not really into that. Really, I could care less who fucks who, who cheats on their taxes or whether someone is drugs or getting fat --unless it screws up their show. I care about their show and their album. I'm interested in what they have to say and why they have my attention (besides being fat, stoned, delinquent and sleeping with members of the San Diego Zoo).

I've done this now for about five years and have educated myself along the way. It's ongoing. They don't teach classes in this stuff. At least, they didn't teach them at Concord College, where I attended school. Even if they did, I probably would have missed the important stuff due to a hangover.

So here's what I've learned so far...

Rule one/part one: You'd probably be better off doing something else. First, the business of music is a very affable sort of business. People are friendly, but they aren't always friends.

It's complicated. Musicians, promoters, producers all need music writers to encourage people to buy their records, come to their shows and eventually steal their music off the Internet. Music writers need musicians, promoters and producers in order to have things to write about besides the weather or whatever evil horseshit the government is doing.

While this sounds simple, it isn't. It's a very personal kind of business. You will tend to know more about the people you write about than you want to know and almost always more than they want you to know. It is a false intimacy that is acquired from websites and PR bios, which are often chock-full of absolute lies. When you meet them, they will want you to like them and if you're human, you can't help it. You'll empathize with their plight and their battles. Chasing after any kind of dream is a hard life. There's an odd loneliness to it.

From time to time, you will tend to forget there are lines and sides. You will want to believe we are all one and the same, but that's not really true. It's a very friendly business, but it's business.

It's OK. When the time comes, someone will remind you.

He may have a point...

First, here's Mona's review of last night's Mountain Stage show.

Now, here's Hippie Killer's review of Neko Case and a post, in general, about Mountain Stage and what could be a perception problem among some of the indie artists.

I hear things, sometimes. And Mountain Stage has certainly gotten their share of douche bags over the years. If you catch the gang in the right mood, they'll tell you who is a dick and who isn't (off the record)... and um... they told me in confidence, so I won't name names here. I do know a couple of people who will not be coming back any time soon, who were problem children and the staff doesn't want to deal with them again unless they have to. One of them is dead, so it's not a big deal. Another is one of my favorites and she hung them out to dry on a fit about billing. The third was a pain in the ass, whom the host of the show said he wished someone would have slapped her parents for raising her to be such a self-absorbed jerk.

I think he's right. Case shouldn't have been starting over and over. She's lucky she didn't get booed, which would have made for really "great" radio. Pretty clearly, she didn't get the show or why she was there. Case shouldn't be thinking she's doing Mountain Stage a favor by playing their dinky little radio show. She ought to be thinking they're doing her a favor by letting her come on their show and play on a hundred radio stations across America for twenty minutes.

Maybe I should have used that ticket.

The strangest thing

Attempts to catch up with Neko Case failed. I tried through a couple of websites and through her record label. I heard nothing. I even mentioned it to Mountain Stage, which is really the court of last recourse. If you can help it, bothering the venue about an artist appearing on their stage is sort of awkward. In essence, you're asking them to do you a favor so you can help them. It complicates things occasionally and about half the time is fruitless.

Sometimes the gatekeeper (and most of the time you never know that is) just can't be bothered to tell you politely, "no." No is an ugly, unhelpful word, so they'll stick their fingers in their ears and pretend you're not talking to them.

I still ask for help from venues sometimes, though not very often compared with the number of interviews I do, and only if the artist is the main attraction. I've asked for a little extra help from every stage in town. I know which ones can help sometimes and which ones seldom do. Locally, I've gotten great help from Mountain Stage and The Clay Center. They're usually pretty motivated to help. Others appear to be less motivated.

Anyway, Case was a wash. I never heard anything --until yesterday when Case's publicist called to let me know I had a ticket to the show. This would be a ticket I didn't request. I requested an interview. I guess I could see where they might be confused. The words sort of rhyme.

Uncle Bill's mailbag

I got an e-mail from a college kid asking me about media stuff. My first... I've got butterflies and everything.

They wrote:
I am currently taking a Media Law and
Ethics class and am researching the ethical habits of reporters from my
hometown area. Being that you write for "The Gazz" can you give me your
opinion and response to this question:How common is it for tabloids to
publish completely false stories on celebrities without concern for
minimizing harm and showing compassion? Do you think this is a particular
problem in WV? Thanks so much for your time!

My sort of spiffy answer:
I think tabloids report only false information occasionally. They're a lot
slicker and a lot more skilled than people give them credit. What they
report is often mean-spirited, embarrassing and often unsavory, but it's not
usually with the intent of being false. It's true, more often than not. Of
course, with the hyper-competitive nature of the tabloids, they can be a bit
sloppier than other kinds of "news" media. They can be misled a bit easier
and sometimes seem a little slower to verify their information --or print a
retraction.

Compassion or minimizing harm seldom enters into the equation these days.
Most of what they do is prey on the darker parts of our own psyche and sell
news-based entertainment around that. We want the successful, the wealthy,
the pretty to fail. We want them to get caught doing what they shouldn't and
we want them punished collectively for all of our transgressions. To want to
be a celebrity these days is to ask to be a sacrificial goat. Tabloid sleaze
provides a balm for the pain of being anonymous and unremarkable.

As far as West Virginia and celebrity coverage... not really. I write a lot
of what would be considered "celebrity" or entertainment-based stories,
mostly "B" or "C" level musicians (meaning celebrity) doing local shows. Our focus is never
evisceration for fun and profit. Often we're introducing or reintroducing
performers to a potential audience. The information presented is largely
superficial, taken from press releases, other publications and brief
interviews over the phone. There's not much need to dig and little
opportunity. We save the good ol' fashioned muckraking for the locals, not
for the crazy lady who does too much coke and keeps forgetting to wear her
underwear. If we have a flaw, it's because since we are in a small, rural
area, we tend to follow the adage, "If you don't have anything nice to say,
you're better off saying nothing at all."

That's how I see it, anyway, but in balance, I don't read a lot of tabloid stuff. My time spent with your average pseudo-famous person is so brief I haven't got the time to figure out who they're fucking, what drugs they're on or if they're wearing underwear (Grace Potter was one of the few exceptions... She totally wasn't wearing a bra and I'd have put five bucks down the lower half coordinated, but it never came up while we talked).

Lowering the bar

This ranks as a brand new level of silly. A ventriloquist doesn't want to do a phone interview to save his voice (which is fine, though weird and self-indulgent. Somehow, I doubt the guy is texting for room service or for the bus driver to pull over so he can take a leak). The publicist wants to know if I would e-mail the questions?

Say it with me people... No.

E-mail interviews with entertainment types blow goats. They blow goats one after the other while the little, red tractor goes around and around. They're always half-baked, particularly since you only get one try and the other person can pick and choose which questions they answer. There is never a follow-up, so if they say something interesting, you can't ask them to explain... and of course, there is always the very distinct possibility that all of it is getting filtered through handlers. For all you know (and who is to know), you're not writing questions for the talent, but for his publicist or manager to answer.

About the only person I'd happily consent to do an e-mail interview with would be Stephen Hawking and he's not likely to be playing an arena named after a furniture store.

I should have known. His national publicist is the same person who handles Willie Nelson, which, for me, typically means an unusual amount of bullshit, ending with frustration and anger. She's not overseeing the tour, but I'm starting to see a similarity in the kind of artist who hires her on. Maybe she likes crazy.

A few more notes on Jeff Foxworthy

Jeff Foxworthy is not a musician, but he is a music host, so it's close enough for this blog.

It is a rule... Most of the time comics or comic actors suck on the phone. This has been my experience. Every now and again, I get surprised. George Carlin was good. So, too, was Lily Tomlin. Chelsea Handler was horrible. Lewis Black was sort of dull and Martin Short made me want to get drunk and jump in front of a car.

I didn't expect much from Foxworthy. Still, I thought it turned out pretty good.

-When I spoke to him, he'd just returned from a hunting trip to New Zealand. His wife booked it as a present for his 50th birthday. Foxworthy is an avid bow hunter. A native guide took them out to hunt Red Stag and he said the countryside was amazing. I asked him if he got any tattoos or if he hunted while wearing a loincloth.

-About tattoos. He told me he didn't have any, though if he did, he'd have them put on his wrist next to his watch. They'd be his wife's birthday, his wedding anniversary and a warning not to let Ron White borrow his car. That was a little vague for me, but White was in a movie where a character wrecked a car. I'll have to ask White about it, next time he comes through.

-Foxworthy seemed a little sensitive about how his comedy is perceived. I asked him if rural people are safe to make fun of. I was thinking of Borat, which mercilessly hammered rural sentiments (more so than urban. When he wasn't playing the rube from the country in the big city, he was poking fun at small town small-mindedness). He, of course, said he didn't make fun of rural people. He was just poking fun at human foibles.

-I don't think he trusts TV. He got burned on his sit-com and was hesitant about going back. He's not the first to come up with that. Several other rural comedians have had trouble, not so much with establishing a show, but dealing with the Hollywood system.

-I asked him about the story involving the lighting guy falling asleep during his set during the Blue Collar Comedy Tour's stop in Charleston. This was supposed to have happened a few years ago. He didn't remember it, but thought it was hilarious --if it happened. I heard the story from a stagehand a few years ago, but couldn't verify it.

-He was amazed at how some of his bits have grown without him. I asked him what he thought about all these chain e-mails floating around (with pictures) based on his Redneck bit. He said it sort of underlined one of the things he learned about his humor. The jokes that get the biggest laughs are the ones that are true.

-All in all, a really nice guy and he was okay with laughing.

Perks and Benefits

Working as an entertainment writer, you get certain privileges and benefits. You're not entitled to these things. There is no such thing as entitlement in the world of music writing (at least, not in my little world). That's reserved for the people who ask for the punch bowls full of green M&Ms, the weird bottled water and have the groupies offering mind blowing sexual favors. They're talented. The music writer is always a bum.

Still, management isn't above casting stray bones to boost morale and get you on board.

Perk #1 -Free CDs. Yes, that's right. As a music/entertainment writer it practically hails CDs at my desk. They arrive by the metric ton on some days and I open each package like it's Christmas. Since it's my kind of Christmas and not yours, these gifts are always viewed with joy, but suspicion, followed by disappointment. It's never what you hope it will be. It's never the latest from Rage Against The Machine, the new one from U2 or anything by The Shins.

On a very good day, I might get the latest Nashville release, featuring whoever placed second on Nashville Star two years ago, or an advance release of a Joni Mitchell album that will soon be available where some people go to buy coffee -neither of which I have any intention of listening to unless I have to. On a very bad day, it's a children's holiday rap album or music performed with an electric zither. No one listens to that kind of stuff unless they've completely lost the will to live.

Of the unsolicited stuff, about one in ten ends up getting heard in my car stereo. This is where I do most of my heavy listening. The rest is sent to relatives, donated to the poor or is cast to the back table for the rest of the newspaper staff to fight over like a pox-ridden army blanket.

Occasionally, I do get music sent to me in conjunction with some upcoming interview. Some of these end up becoming favorites. I still listen to albums sent by Rachel Yamagata, Bell X-1 and both albums sent to me by Shooter Jennings. I love Grace Potter and Josh Ritter's last albums. Hell, I even put on Duncan Sheik's White Limousine EP from time to time.

It's always better when they offer to send something. When you have to ask, you get shafted about half the time. They send you what you don't need (like the old album the guy you want to talk to doesn't remember) or something encrypted that will only play if you give Lars Ulrich a dollar every time you stick in a CD player.

But, it's not all bad. You can't eat CDs, but you get to listen for free.

Apologies...

For whatever reason, blogspot isn't sending me the comments. I'm not ignoring anyone. I guess I'll have to monitor this blog a little more closely.

I was out a bit last week (and a bit distracted), which kept me from updating --plus this is a new place to play. I'm still getting used to coming here. Growing pains. Sorry.

Meanwhile, there hasn't been a lot shaking with the summer concert season. The Booker T show is down to 984 tickets for sale. Dokken is still coming to Huntington, but Julianne Hough has been postponed.

I'm also working on a lot of interviews and looking forward to seeing if the folks across the hall got Neko Case. Doesn't she look cool posed on top of the car with the sword? It's kinda like Wendy O Williams in that women's prison movie I saw on the USA Channel back when I used to stay up all night drinking cheap rum.

Case (not Williams, who is "el morte") is in town next week. I, rest assured, did not speak with Case. E-mails and calls sent to her representatives were not returned or replied. There is no indication they registered on her radar, which is unusual. Usually, getting a female artist on the phone is easier than their male counterparts --even at her exalted level. Undoubtedly, she's busy. Probably, she's thinking about having yard sales and what brand of tomato to plant in her garden.

Best of luck with that.

The show is next Wednesday night, a special Mountain Stage on Wednesday night. People should go. We'll probably send a reviewer. I'm not sure if it will be me. "Lost" is on.

Ticket count

I must have completely screwed the pooch on the last count for the Booker T and The MGs show. Based on my current count, they have 986 tickets available for sale. Which would mean they somehow magically added 97 tickets or I can't add. Let's figure on the latter.

So, about those tickets...

Of course, the concert is a good two months away. Commercial coverage for FestivALL hasn't started and they're not really pitching anything to the media -at least, nobody is pitching anything to me, but maybe they don't have anything to announce. This could be it. All I've heard about so far for FestivALL is the Buddy Guy addition to Mountain Stage. It's nice, but not something to pump your first about and yell woo-hoo. It's more like, "Well, Mountain Stage at the Clay Center. Gee, that's going to cost at least eleven dollars more. I sure wish they could get The Flaming Lips. That would be fun and the wanker lead singer might wear those stupid antenna."

Anyway, with the Booker T tickets, maybe everybody is waiting to see if anything bigger or better comes along. Everybody is watching their money. They want to be excited. I don't think anybody is feeling it yet. At least, I'm not.

Princeton

I haven't been back to Mercer County for a visit in years. Now, I've got one. You'll have to scroll down to June 7th to see.

Sure, it would be nice if Mountain Stage would bring somebody I liked to Charleston, but that's part of the philosophy of the show: to personally annoy Bill Lynch by only occasionally scheduling acts he wants to see in the town he resides. The rest of the time, they ship everybody off to the hinterlands of Morgantown or Beckley or worse, Philadelphia.

Bill did not love The Moving The Mountain Tour. He has always been plain about this.

I swear they sit around and plan this stuff over biscuits and gravy down at Tudor's.

Of course, I'm making that up. I know how it works. They get who they can get when they can get them. Mountain Stage has a certain amount of prestige to it. The radio show is a good medium to get word out for new albums, tours and etc., but I've never gotten the impression anybody gets rich playing it. Mountain Stage benefits as much or more from a higher profile act playing the show. Steve Earle is available June 7th. The show is in Mercer County on the 7th. So, he's going to play when he wants, but not where I want him to --say, like June 19 in Charleston, during FestivALL and the day after my birthday.

I figure they're planning something big for the 19th... possibly A-Ha will make their debut on The Mountain Stage. That'll show me.

It's sort of ridiculous and I know it. The music fan in me is livid. It's unfair. The music writer guy thinks it's great for them --which, they may or may not know. True story: I once went to a .38 special in the heart of redneck country (Brushfork Armory). The tickets were cheap. A lot of energy had gone into promotion. With the number of people who showed up, if I'd wanted to hop on stage and air guitar at any point during the performance, it wouldn't have presented a challenge.

And this was a mainstream act, not a kind of out there, grizzled troubadour with some very interesting political leanings and a history with drugs that sounds like something out of an Irvine Welsh novel. Randy Travis, Steve Earle ain't.

Anyway, Mercer County is getting a good Mountain Stage. If you have the means and want to, you should go. I'm certainly considering it. I'm not happy about it, but I'm thinking about it.

The List

In the back of my head, I keep a list of famous musicians I'd like to interview. This is probably different than the list of famous musicians I'd like to hang out with, which is pretty much just Iggy Pop. I'm sure they're cool people, but eh... I'm over fame.

This is, by no means, comprehensive, but just a few high points. This is a wish list. I doubt I will be clearing it. The majority of the people on this list will not be playing my local area, which is what I cover. Rolling Stone ain't calling so I don't have much of a reason to initiate a conversation.

Looking at the list, I noticed there are much fewer women represented than men. Then, I remembered. I get turned down less by female musicians. They're generally more accessible.

The List:
Bruce Springsteen (the motherfucker hasn't played WV in over 30 years. I've been grinding that axe for a while)

Willie Nelson (doesn't give many interviews, has passed this way about every 18 to 20 months. His publicist turns me down and usually, something bad happens that makes me want to go key Willie's car)

Tim McGraw (because he's turned me down)

Keith Urban (because he's turned me down)

Kenny Chesney (because he's turned me down)

Faith Hill (because she's turned me down)

Hank Williams, Jr (because he turned me down)

David Bowie (because he/she turned me down)

Axl Rose (His lawyers turned me down, but they did send me to Papa Roach)

Michael Stipe (Hmm... REM hasn't been here since the early 90s. For a band who gets as much lip service as they do from the folks at Mountain Stage, you'd think they'd come back to play)

David Gilmour/Roger Waters (I'm a Pink Floyd fan)

Paul McCartney (We share the same birthday)

Toby Keith (I got burned by his tour manager and publicist three or four years back. I don't forget)

Glenn Danzig (I've wondered how retirement feels for the former anti-christ)

Marilyn Manson (I'm wondering how middle-age is striking the current anti-christ)

Mike Patton (I've often wondered what the anti-christ could have been, but wasn't)

Joan Jett (I'm wondering what it's like to be the anti-christ's cousin)

Keith Richards (Keith can not be harmed my mortal weapons)

John Lydon (If only to know what possessed him to go on Judge Judy)

Conor Oberst (If only to ask how fucked up he was during the Move.org show I saw in Ohio back in 2004. He looked pretty much out of his damned head, and to ask him why he would do something so incredibly stupid)

Maynard Keenan (Because, by reputation, he's a giant douchebag, but Danny Carey was cool. I don't buy they'd be in the same band)

Sully Erna (Because they made me read his fucking book, then he bailed on me. I have questions)

Dave Grohl (Because he isn't Eddie Vedder)

Jason Newsted (Because he's the only guy in Metallica (formerly and still living) I actually kind of like and who seems sane compared to the others)

Robbie Williams (Just one of those things. His work has never really caught on the U.S. but he's good)

Courtney Love (she frightens me and you must always face your fears)

Lou Reed (I can never figure out whether I hate his music or love it)

Bob Dylan (Because he's the grail of music interviews and about the only guy on this list I could talk to who would impress my Dad... well, Keith... )

Stop me if you've heard this one.

Over the past couple of years, I've heard just about every possible line from publicists, agents and show managers about why a particular artist can't do an interview.

Really, "no, I don't want to" is fine. I'm okay with that. It's honest. Virtually everything else isn't.

Last summer, I was told to interview Blues Traveler. I wasn't particularly enthusiastic about it, but I wasn't against it. I did the leg work and made some calls. The record label sent me an advance copy of the new album and I made my humble petition to speak with the lead singer, John Popper.

You always ask for the face of the band. While the other guys in the crew are more than likely fine, you want the one person the average listener would likely choose as the band's representative. In the case of Blues Traveler, this is John Popper. He is who people know and who the average listener would want to hear about. Popper writes most of the songs, almost all of the lyrics, sings and plays harmonica. Only the occasional music wonk would give a rat's ass about the other guys. It's not a reflection on them as musicians. It's how the band was marketed and thus, how the band is seen by the public.

Publicists, agents and promoters often get selective amnesia about this and want to pretend every band is just like the fucking Beatles. They want you to believe everyone is equally important or pretty close to it. Mostly, they're not. It doesn't mean there isn't a good story. It doesn't mean a good writer can't make the sidemen compelling, but it almost always means somebody is full of shit.

Anyway, the word back from the publicist was, "Sorry, John is very busy with this tour, but I can get you the drummer."

So, I scratch my head, then fire back... "That will be fine, but riddle me this. If John is too busy with the tour to talk, how is it the drummer has any time? They would be on the same tour, right?"

At this point, the publicist has a meltdown. She gets flustered and weird. There isn't a good answer. Yes, they're both on the same tour and playing the same number of shows. She makes some odd, panicked noises that seem a little threatening.

The inconvenient truth was John didn't want to do interviews then. He probably didn't want to waste all his good stuff on a little paper in West Virginia --not for a non-ticketed show at a small city festival. He'd rather save it just in case somebody like Rolling Stone or Paste calls up. A publicist would rather press lit cigarettes into their open asshole than admit to this.

So, I shrugged. I did the interview and it was fine. I resented how things played out, but I got over it. I had to. Meanwhile, against our agreement, she offered the same interview to the folks across the hall. We ran them the same day. This is a big no-no, particularly since we asked specifically not to get the same band member. My editor is livid. I am livid. I bring this up and she writes a very nice apology that means very little to me except not to trust her ever again.

Then, I shake my head and remember Blues Traveler used to be on the radio a lot. They opened for The Rolling Stones and were one of the better acts to appear at Woodstock 94. Now, they're playing places like (the always suspicious) Monkey Bar and the (currently defunct) Charleston Regatta. It's hard to feel much sympathy. They kind of deserve it.

Reports and rumors

I've been bemoaning the weak music schedule rolling through West Virginia for the last six weeks. By now, we should be seeing some concerts getting booked. So far, it's looking pretty slim. About the high point, so far, is Dokken (kind of a poor man's Def Leppard) is playing the new Tequila Rocks in Huntington. This is supposedly happening June 20.

Time to party like it's 1987. They'll probably do that song from "Nightmare on Elmstreet 2" -a classic.

Otherwise, same weekend... some place called Canvas,WV is having a musical throw down you could probably call the economic rehabilitation tour, featuring Confederate Railroad, Kentucky Headhunters, Aaron Tippin and Sammy Kershaw. Yee-fucking-haw!

Mid-June in the mountain state is looking like a good time to upgrade your Netflix or visit friends in Ohio.

Ticket count

Just in case anyone was interested, there are only 899 tickets still available for the FestivALL show with Booker T and The MGs in June.

Tickets went on sale last week. At this rate, they will probably be on sale next week, too...

I'm curious as to how well this show is going to sell. The band was top-shelf in their day. I mean, they impressed The Beatles... that's something, but they are a bit long in the tooth. I understand the rationale and sure, it's Danny's money (or his cousin's money). That's why they call it "The Mayor's Concert," but I've never been a huge fan of 60s soul and R&B.

I'm just not that cool.

crowd surfing

I enjoy watching crowds. It doesn't always pay to talk about who goes to a show, who pays the tickets and who makes an ass of themselves. The hardcore fans of kd lang gave me a ton of shit last year when I essentially suggested they behaved like tubby lesbian fratboys and were disrespectful to the artist they'd come to see, not to mention the average ticket holder.

Audiences are sensitive to being watched, but for someone like me, seeing the crowd is part of the fun.

The crowd at the Municipal Auditorium was old, ancient and bordering on fossilized. Everybody seemed to smile. There was lots of waving to friends. I'd smile and wave too if I was enjoying my second or third decade in retirement or maybe I wouldn't. Maybe I wouldn't have any idea where the hell I was. Sudden movement might seem very traumatic and confusing.

Many of the people at this show certainly moved with strained deliberation. Some of them were fragile and fearful. You could see it in their faces. A misplaced step or a stumble might not kill them, but it would certainly invite slow, festering pain. Maybe at that age, feeling good is a treat. It might be good enough just not to ache.

From what they tell me, whenever the Community Music Association puts on a show, they dredge the local retirement homes, load everybody over the age of 70 into a bus and haul them down to the municipal auditorium on some kind of field trip. I sort of wonder about that. Do these visits have anything in common with the junior high field trips to the lake or the box factory? Do you have to bring a bagged lunch from home? Are their chaperons to keep the kids from making out in the back of the bus on the way back?

Every crowd has an odor. A musical or theatrical performance at the Clay Center will sometimes smell like cologne and soap. A hillbilly rock show at The Empty Glass will smell like old beer, sweat and cigarettes. It's not always the people. An ocean of beer has been poured over the floor at The Empty Glass and people smoked for decades in the place before the city clamped down on nicotine. The smell is not going away.

This show at the Municipal smelled like powdered flowers and dust, but the cloying floral cloud couldn't hide the scent of sour urine beneath it. It was like catching a concert at the wake of a distant relative.

Still, they were the most polite bunch I've ever seen at a show. They clapped when they were supposed to. They clapped when they probably weren't supposed to, but no one moved too quick for the usual standing ovation toward the end. A standing ovation in this town is cheap. Just about every gets one at the end of the show. A successful bowel movement at the Cultural Center will get you a standing ovation.

They were surprisingly restrained, which I took for honesty.

True Story

I got into writing about entertainment accidentally. Years ago, when I was just out of college, my first and nearly last writing gig was at a small weekly paper: my hometown paper. I wrote about town council meetings, new school openings and the occasional drowning. It was an internship, a hastily put together one at that, I did the summer after graduation.

My first real job was working sales and a board op shift at a tiny, low-watt talk radio station in Beckley. Any kind of writing I did, at that point, was on my own and I was interested in writing novels, not articles for the local paper.

I bounced around a little, moved, and eventually took a job at a radio group in Bluefield. I wrote radio ad copy and oversaw production. After a few years, I took a much saner, though dull, job with West Virginia Public Broadcasting. It was a television gig. The people were great, but there wasn't a lot for me to do a lot of the time.

To keep my mind active, I started looking for things for me to also do. I asked the editor of Graffiti if I could write for him. He shrugged and said, "sure, but there's no money in it." It didn't really matter. So, for him, I wrote about witchcraft schools, old lesbian couples and nazis. It was a pretty good time.

I moved to Charleston.

Eventually, this led to a conversation with the features editor at the Gazette. At the time, he was looking for entertainment stories. He asked if I knew anything about local bands. I lied and said, "sure."

Really, I only knew one band called Liquid Harvest. A guy I worked with at my second job played in the band. They were just getting started. I was just getting started. I asked if I could write a story about them. They dove at it.

The article went over well and I was in. Of course, I didn't know what I was doing, didn't know the scene or the players, and started pitching ideas based on the posters I saw up on lamp posts. A few of my stories began turning up in the paper.

Maybe because I worked at West Virginia Public Broadcasting, some of the people at Mountain Stage wondered if I wouldn't like to write about the people they were bringing in. They wanted promotion, same as everybody else. I barely recognized some of the names, but I said... well, sure. I needed money and the freelance gig was easy money. It was a lot easier than shelving books and I was writing.

I've learned a lot along the way.

So, really I fell into this. If my editor had asked me about a gardening story, I might have gone that direction. It might have also ended my career sooner. I know even less about horticulture than I do about music. As it turns out, there are huge holes in my music education. I annoy my friends at Mountain Stage and the occasional musician buddy with a blank stare or a shrug when they mention someone they see as a treasure, an idol or an icon. Everyone was a little pissed I didn't instantly recognize Duck Dunn.

I don't play an instrument either. I have no interest in learning and have no talent. This was shown to me in great detail in high school. To me, the point of playing is to be heard. You can play only for your own pleasure, but that's really just masturbation. Jerking off is fine, but after a while, if that's all there is, it makes you want to put a gun to your head.

I still love music. It's magic to me, good magic most of the time. I study it now, read books and articles about music, but I don't take it apart. I'm not a musicologist, not a historian, not an expert; just an average guy who hits the scan button on his car radio when he's bored. I listen to all sorts of things. Some of it is crap, but my tastes have evolved. I know why I like things and why I don't. Occasionally, someone has to explain to me slowly and using small words why something is important. Occasionally, I return the favor by telling them why it isn't.

I'll be your host here.