Stop me if you've heard this one.

Over the past couple of years, I've heard just about every possible line from publicists, agents and show managers about why a particular artist can't do an interview.

Really, "no, I don't want to" is fine. I'm okay with that. It's honest. Virtually everything else isn't.

Last summer, I was told to interview Blues Traveler. I wasn't particularly enthusiastic about it, but I wasn't against it. I did the leg work and made some calls. The record label sent me an advance copy of the new album and I made my humble petition to speak with the lead singer, John Popper.

You always ask for the face of the band. While the other guys in the crew are more than likely fine, you want the one person the average listener would likely choose as the band's representative. In the case of Blues Traveler, this is John Popper. He is who people know and who the average listener would want to hear about. Popper writes most of the songs, almost all of the lyrics, sings and plays harmonica. Only the occasional music wonk would give a rat's ass about the other guys. It's not a reflection on them as musicians. It's how the band was marketed and thus, how the band is seen by the public.

Publicists, agents and promoters often get selective amnesia about this and want to pretend every band is just like the fucking Beatles. They want you to believe everyone is equally important or pretty close to it. Mostly, they're not. It doesn't mean there isn't a good story. It doesn't mean a good writer can't make the sidemen compelling, but it almost always means somebody is full of shit.

Anyway, the word back from the publicist was, "Sorry, John is very busy with this tour, but I can get you the drummer."

So, I scratch my head, then fire back... "That will be fine, but riddle me this. If John is too busy with the tour to talk, how is it the drummer has any time? They would be on the same tour, right?"

At this point, the publicist has a meltdown. She gets flustered and weird. There isn't a good answer. Yes, they're both on the same tour and playing the same number of shows. She makes some odd, panicked noises that seem a little threatening.

The inconvenient truth was John didn't want to do interviews then. He probably didn't want to waste all his good stuff on a little paper in West Virginia --not for a non-ticketed show at a small city festival. He'd rather save it just in case somebody like Rolling Stone or Paste calls up. A publicist would rather press lit cigarettes into their open asshole than admit to this.

So, I shrugged. I did the interview and it was fine. I resented how things played out, but I got over it. I had to. Meanwhile, against our agreement, she offered the same interview to the folks across the hall. We ran them the same day. This is a big no-no, particularly since we asked specifically not to get the same band member. My editor is livid. I am livid. I bring this up and she writes a very nice apology that means very little to me except not to trust her ever again.

Then, I shake my head and remember Blues Traveler used to be on the radio a lot. They opened for The Rolling Stones and were one of the better acts to appear at Woodstock 94. Now, they're playing places like (the always suspicious) Monkey Bar and the (currently defunct) Charleston Regatta. It's hard to feel much sympathy. They kind of deserve it.