The List

In the back of my head, I keep a list of famous musicians I'd like to interview. This is probably different than the list of famous musicians I'd like to hang out with, which is pretty much just Iggy Pop. I'm sure they're cool people, but eh... I'm over fame.

This is, by no means, comprehensive, but just a few high points. This is a wish list. I doubt I will be clearing it. The majority of the people on this list will not be playing my local area, which is what I cover. Rolling Stone ain't calling so I don't have much of a reason to initiate a conversation.

Looking at the list, I noticed there are much fewer women represented than men. Then, I remembered. I get turned down less by female musicians. They're generally more accessible.

The List:
Bruce Springsteen (the motherfucker hasn't played WV in over 30 years. I've been grinding that axe for a while)

Willie Nelson (doesn't give many interviews, has passed this way about every 18 to 20 months. His publicist turns me down and usually, something bad happens that makes me want to go key Willie's car)

Tim McGraw (because he's turned me down)

Keith Urban (because he's turned me down)

Kenny Chesney (because he's turned me down)

Faith Hill (because she's turned me down)

Hank Williams, Jr (because he turned me down)

David Bowie (because he/she turned me down)

Axl Rose (His lawyers turned me down, but they did send me to Papa Roach)

Michael Stipe (Hmm... REM hasn't been here since the early 90s. For a band who gets as much lip service as they do from the folks at Mountain Stage, you'd think they'd come back to play)

David Gilmour/Roger Waters (I'm a Pink Floyd fan)

Paul McCartney (We share the same birthday)

Toby Keith (I got burned by his tour manager and publicist three or four years back. I don't forget)

Glenn Danzig (I've wondered how retirement feels for the former anti-christ)

Marilyn Manson (I'm wondering how middle-age is striking the current anti-christ)

Mike Patton (I've often wondered what the anti-christ could have been, but wasn't)

Joan Jett (I'm wondering what it's like to be the anti-christ's cousin)

Keith Richards (Keith can not be harmed my mortal weapons)

John Lydon (If only to know what possessed him to go on Judge Judy)

Conor Oberst (If only to ask how fucked up he was during the Move.org show I saw in Ohio back in 2004. He looked pretty much out of his damned head, and to ask him why he would do something so incredibly stupid)

Maynard Keenan (Because, by reputation, he's a giant douchebag, but Danny Carey was cool. I don't buy they'd be in the same band)

Sully Erna (Because they made me read his fucking book, then he bailed on me. I have questions)

Dave Grohl (Because he isn't Eddie Vedder)

Jason Newsted (Because he's the only guy in Metallica (formerly and still living) I actually kind of like and who seems sane compared to the others)

Robbie Williams (Just one of those things. His work has never really caught on the U.S. but he's good)

Courtney Love (she frightens me and you must always face your fears)

Lou Reed (I can never figure out whether I hate his music or love it)

Bob Dylan (Because he's the grail of music interviews and about the only guy on this list I could talk to who would impress my Dad... well, Keith... )